Can you guess which one is me?

What  should I do

Thinking about you making my heart

Beat in my throat

I'm shy and I'm sad

I wish I was brave

Couse then I would do all I want

With or without you

I think I'll go crazy

Just imagining all that I want

All that I cant

All that I wont

I cry in my bad

Alone once aging

I don’t remember the last time

Someone was there

I hate and I love

I'm black and I'm white

I see while blind

I hear while deaf

U cant understand

The meaning of me

A person so dead

That cant care

A person so messed up

That terrified

I wont come again

I cant bear to know

I rather run away

And cry all alone

Some push out of fear

Some pull just that someone be near